Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Grateful Post
I have pretty much been fighting off depression for a while now. No job = no mon-ay and this makes the holidays quite difficult. I can't buy the people that I love the things I think they need and/or deserve, but as my sister Amber told me, it is my time and my love that mean more than 'stuff' and you can't really get either one of those back. I've always said she is the smarter of the two of us.
But at any rate, fighting off depression means I haven't stitched for squatski. And by squatski, I mean absolute bupkus. Trying to fend off inner demons, when they are allowed to run buck wild, is like trying to reach the surface after being thrown overboard into a very dark, very cold body of water. You can't breathe, body parts ache, and you don't think you will ever reach the surface. In my opinion, there is no greater hell than what a person can create in their own mind.
So, in an effort to drag myself up from the depths, I forced myself to stitch on the 'Peace' ornament. I have got a fair bit done, and it's 3/4ths of the way done. Which made me happy. When you stitch, at least for me, it takes my mind off of whatever is driving me straight up a tree at the time. Research has been done ( I will locate my credible sources later) that state that the mind enters a light trance state when a subject enters into an activity that one finds pleasant. Groovy.
When I was stitching, I started to think about all the things I HAVE, rather than the things I DON'T. Lo. and behold, my mood started to change, and I have a list of things I want to do tomorrow, instead of moping around the house all day. As the Buddhists say: chop wood, carry water.
Here are some bits and pieces of what I was thinking I am really, really grateful:
1. My future husband. The love of my life and one of my best friends. Without you, life would sure be a lot loveless.
2. My mother. Without her, I wouldn't just plain BE here. Someone who truly gives of herself and always tells me she loves me, no matter how badly I *think* I may have screwed up.
3. My sisters. One by blood, one by the grace of God. I cannot live without either one of you and I miss you horribly.
4. A roof over my head. A lot of folks are losing their homes, while I have over 2500 square feet and a sunken tub fit for a queen. Really, it could be far worse and I pray for those who have lost their homes all the time.
5. Food in the fridge. Again, in this economy, I have more than my share, while others have to do without.
6. Enough cross stitch paraphernalia to sink the Queen Mary. Quite frankly, I think people who do needlework had to have been Egyptian in former lives. We buy it as if they aren't ever gonna make any ever again, and then want to take it with us.
7. The Las Vegas Kitteh Clique. Yes, I sometimes get weary of cleaning up poop and barf, but if I didn't you wouldn't be here and I would be very sad about that.
8. My book collection. Quoth one Mr. Thomas Jefferson, our 3rd president and a total hottie, 'I cannot live without books'. I have more than my share, but I will always buy more.
9. My friends. Be they online or real life or both, you keep me sane and make me see that it's not so bad.
10. Faith that things will get better. I don't know why or how, but deep down inside, I know something really really good is about to come around, I just need to be patient. (Which I have almost ZERO patience!)
I will post pics of what I did tonight sometime tomorrow. Hopefully, the batteries will hold out, but hey....yanevaknow.
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Respectfully submitted,
C.
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3 comments:
Sometimes the most important thing is your point of view.
My favorite quote is Erasmus: "When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes."
What a great way to pull yourself out of the blues. Way to go.
When I'm down I cook - something about working with my hands that's soothing (maybe like cross stitching?). And if that doesn't pull me out of my funk, I have something nice to eat.
I cook a lot, too.
Cook, stitch, and clean. I go into Martha Stewart mode and then all bets are off, LOL! :)
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